Look Back

Wow!
These past couple months have been amazing! NO lie, I am so blessed and so happy! I have not been this content and happy in a long time. I really like where I am in life and what I am doing and etc. Yes, I am always busy busy busy but I am so full of love and life that I do not care how many things I ever have to do. I finally can say that I have good and fun friends. I love how close I have gotten with all of them so fast, and I love how my relationship with certain friends are closer than ever! And I know that I can count on them and not let me fall, it is amazing!
Last weekend, a bunch of us went to California for the weekend to just chill and experience Cali together. We went and hung out walked, ate, and laughed together. We went to Universal Studios (which if anyone knows me I do not do scary stuff) but since it was a bunch of us, we were able to experience and be scared together, it was just an amazing experience!
Also these past couple of months has brought me closer to God, so much! I feel like I am truly relying and making him the driver in my life! Which I have never been able to allow or even say, but I know he has control. I believe that I am finally ready for him to take my life in the fast lane and form me even more. I think that this feeling is due to the fact that I go to a Christian College which helps me because I am able to talk with my professors about God and my relationship with him and hear their stories and also to be able to go to chapel twice a week and hear and grow. Also the fact of who I hang out with helps alot. I am not being tempted or anything when I hang out with them.
I am just in awe of all the wonderful things that are happening with my life! I could not have asked for anything better!
Ps. I wish I was better about blogging, like posting more, and even writing better. I feel like I am not expressive enough to show my true feelings and that I leave things out. But any-who I guess I will never get better. Also this picture is my favorite of all of us on our trip to California!

LIfe in the FAst Lane

So this past month has been a crazy, amazing, fulfilling, unorganized, eventful one!
Where to start... well I feel like I have been soooo busy like no time for myself or anyone. I go to school, then straight to work, and then go eat for the first time of the day and then do homework. It is soo stressful how my life seems to be, but yet at the same time my life feels at peace and for the first time in a long long long time, I feel God in my life. Yes he has always been there.. but I am talking and thinking about my actions and about him constantly.

I love how soo many people go to GCU and I can randomly walk up to one of them and ask for help and have them pray for me! It is soo amazing how God, placed me here! I actually feel like I fit in and I was chosen to attend here, unlike U of A, where I always felt out of place.

I am soo grateful that I am able to lead YoungLife again... and last night was the first club. And I was struggling a little bit not gonna lie. See my problem is that I believe everything, I am gullible, and I believe Satan when he tells me I do not belong, no one likes me, I am a bad leader. And last night those lies really got to me and I just had a breakdown. But with a pray from Christina and pep talks from Lindsey and Amy I felt much better. And by mixer I was back to myself letting go of all my fears and I rocked it and met soooo many amazing high school students. Last night was just a glimpse of this amazing semester/year that is too come and I can not wait! But more importantly I am looking forward to Spouse Quest this Fri. Soo.. tis week needs to hurry up, quick!

Also, I have been growin my faith which I am totally in love and in awe with. See I know how I work and I know when I am struggling and for me to grow I need to be surrounded by people who have a great walk and just show and lead me into a better walk with Christ. Yeah i know I am an adult and still need to be lead to God... but that is just my personality and how I function! I learn from watching, like monkey see monkey do. Also being able to go to a university where I can go to chapel, small group, and The Gathering and it is recommended is mind-blowing and I love it. It allows my heart and mind to gain and grow !

Trouble in Paradise

Well this week has been crazy full of many wonderful, exciting, and horrible things. This past week I had to make a very difficult decision to make. I love how I have gotten a job and I am able to work and not be bored around me house, I love how I am able to actually make money instead of not having any, and I love the people I have met. But since starting this job I have realized and am now starting to understand money and financing. I need to save up to buy a car, but yet I need to pay for online classes this summer to get more credits. It just seems like life and money are a big circle that cannot be maintained.

This past week I had to make a huge important decision, I had to chose whether or not to go to summer staff this summer. There are many many pros and cons to going, but in the end I decided that the best option for me right now is to pass the spot and stay here. Since my reasonings that helped me chose this decision are wayyy too long I will not bore you with them.

But on the plus side because of all these decisions I have leaned and needed to trust God so much more than in the past. It seems like every year another bigger than before decision comes up, that is placed in my life and I believe it to be a test from God to see how I handle things like if I end up asking for help and trusting him or trying to do everything on my own. Some times I fail at this (which is normal since I am human and I do sin) but other times I pass with flying colors! As I get older and realize these situations are good for me and when I realize that if I trust God everything will go over smoothly and without ease than if I do it on my own. So thanks God for testing me, it grows me closer to You!

Another plus is that this summer is I want to be transformed physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I want to be a different , better, and healthier person! I will be like a butterfly, go in as a caterpiller and come out as a beautiful butterfly.

Looking beyond the rock!

These past few weeks have been crazy, I mean I ended my first official year in college, I changed schools, and I got a job! All these amazing things are happening one right after another and I cannot even thank God enough for providing me all these things! It is crazy how I finally feel I am suppose to do and go this path. The last time I felt this feeling was at the end of my sophomore year going into my junior year and I went to YoungLife camp for the first time! I had a blast and I bonded not only with my relationship with God but also other people, who I consider my closets friends that no matter how far apart we may end up I can still call them up and tell them everything and they will put me in check if I need it.
This year has also brought me closer to my family, even though it only consists of only my mom and brother, but still I like being home when I am and I don't mind doing and spending time with them. Going to college has showed me who is really there to support me and help me when times are needed and my family has proved time and time again and I am now finally seeing this! I also realized a couple days ago as I went to a friends house to go get her dog to watch it for a few days, that this is the first year in the past like 3-4 years that I will not be attending YoungLife camp. It is kinda sad but in a good way I know that a reason I changed schools was for Younglife and to get reconnected again. Where that will be I do not know but I know that for at last the next couple of years that is where I am suppose to be.
This year has also brought the worst out of me in my education. I am ashamed of how poorly I took academics my first semester, and realized no matter how much I strive to push and pull it up, it will take forever. But I guess it was a good learning experience and to help realize that I should got to class. lol! But I am excited for the next few months to come and see where God is wanting my life to be.

I stumbled upon this bible verse which happened to be the bible verse of the day for tomorrow.
" Do not deceive yourselves. If any one of you thinks he is wise by the standards of this age, he should become a "fool" so that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God's sight. As it is written: "He catches the wise in their craftiness"; and again, "The Lord knows that the thoughts of the wise are futile."
1 Corinthians 3:18-20

Moving On... ???

So this year has flown by so fast! It is crazy that I finished my first year in COLLEGE! Wooh .... but since this past semester started I had this feeling that this is not what I need and I was looking for something... I did not know what, but I felt uneasy about where I was and where life was leading me! I applied to GCU just for the fun of it, got accepted and thought nothing else of it! But after my finals and my freshman year ended, I realized that I did not fit in there. Nothing was working out for me down there, I could not enroll into any classes, they were all full, I did not know where to live everything went away and nothing was going right. I also did not feel excepted in the YoungLife down there or in the interest group... yes I was accepted but those where not me! If any of you are reading this... none of this has anything to do with or anything this is my personal choice and I need to do what is best for me and keep true to myself! I love U of A and I always will, my heart will belong to it. But there are so many opportunities that are open for me at GCU, and YoungLife which I am soooo excited for!

Since I have not updated this in a while ... not much other than changing colleges nothing is going on in my life! I am just getting things squared away and all the details ready and put in place. This is a great experience because I am trusting God sooo much more, I talk and ask so much more from him than ever before. I got this great idea from a book I have been reading.. the Last Song, about a way to talk to God! The character just explains to talk to him like you are talking to a friend (which is true since he is a friend). and even though he knows everything about your life, he wants to hear it from you and just wants to know what is going on in your life! So this has opened my eyes up so much more! I am more willing to talk to him and just tell him about my day more than ever before!

This is a quote I recently found..."God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons we could not learn in any other way. The way we learn those lessons is not to deny the feelings but to find the meanings underlying them."
~Stanley Lindquist

Oh the Places you Go!

I remember in the 8th grade the last day of classes, my homeroom teacher Mrs. Taylor who I absolutely adored read the book by Dr. Suess, "Oh the places you will go". I never thought about how much that this book and it's meaning would effect me. Back then, it was easy, just go to my local high school. From there they told me which classes to take and how to apply to college. Well when it came time for me to apply for college's I did not think or even want to think about where to go and what I even want to do in life. So I just applied to the local colleges in the state. I of course got in and accepted to all. It was just a matter of where I wanted to go. I chose U of A, because when I visited I feel in love with the campus. I do not know exactly why I did not chose NAU or ASU for that matter, I just claim that everyone chose to go to those, but I guess now that I look back I wanted to get away and kinda do the rebellious choice.

This past weekend, when I went back home yet again for the 200 millionth time, my mom and I had a great conversation. She informed me that she noticed that I am not myself that this past year I have not been happy. She claimed that I do not know my true self, that I just go along and please other before myself. So this got me thinking... who am I? What do I want to do? Where do I want to go? Who do I want to become? All these questions floated in my head, and still are... I have no idea who I truly am. Yes I am Aubrey a 19 year old girl but who am I really, what truly makes ME happy?

Since being back from home, these questions are all I can think about, am I just going here and doing these things because it is safe and expected of me? Who are my true friends? and Where do I belong? and even... Do I need college right now? Some of these questions are the extreme yes I know but they are needed to know and be asked?

Many options have popped into my head, like GCU (which I applied and got admitted) also ASU, the military, and now a college in Colorado. I like U of A, but walking around and being here I think Do I really belong? See back at home, my grandma is going through some health problems, in which there might be a major change in my family to where we end up. So that is another reason to add to the list. I just need to find out who I am, and what I truly like before making any decision.

Also, I feel that coming back to U of A is not the best for me since nothing is falling into place... for example, 1. I apply for the number 24 most sexually active dorms in the US, in which I canceled because of this reason, 2. I did not get into the Young Life house, 3. I have no where to live next year ..yet if I do return, 4. Are the clubs and activities that I am involved in really for me and describe me, 5. I do not feel excepted or wanted here 6. I have many friends but how many of them are true and trustworthy 7. low GPA. and finally 8. They will not let me register for my classes.

All these things are hard to get over and think of what to do when all these things are against me. Right now I feel I need to just get away from everything and even possibly school, even though I would need a job. But first before anything I must find myself.

Oh the Places you'll go!

I remember back in 8th grade, my teacher read to us on the last day of school the book, Oh the places you'll go" by Dr. Suess. I never really realized back then how insightful and how true that book really was. Over the past couple months have thought and looked back at what life has given me and where i have been led. I remember sitting in that classroom anticipating high school, then as years pass sitting on the football field thinking about college as I am about to walk across the stage to graduate. This past year i especially have been thinking about what life has offered and where and what i am supposed to do. I feel that since attending U of A that it was the best but worse choice for me. It was the best because I needed to get away and face life and grow up faster and learn exactly who i am... but on the other hand it has been worse because i feel i have no one any friends in either in Tucson or in Goodyear. This has been a huge struggle for me, but i need to learn to be on my own and not need people. I have had many up's and down's this semester alone about where to go in life and what to do. There has been many struggles and options for me to chose, so hopefully i chose the right ones. Some situations are mainly where to live, what to do, where to go to school, Younglife, and interest group. All these things travel in my head all at the same time and i think of the options that are open and needed for me to succeed and stay true to myself. Life hands you many throwbacks and settings that are needed. And I know that this is a huge one that life is throwing me now!

Polyvore

I am addicted to this site... polyvore and i wish that i could own every single one of the things it has on its website! It is amazing and soo many cool stuff to chose from! This is the first of many (i bet) of things that i will create

A Whole New World

These past couple months have been filled with great adventures, family time, and lots and lots of ideas and plans of what to do with my life! This past semester I hit up Tanita and asked to go through Younglife training ... because I noticed I missed it and being apart of it and the people! Along with going through training I applied to live in the Younglife house next year... and have not heard back yet... so hopefully I can get in!!! If not that is totally cool and I know God wants me to live and be somewhere else... but still it feels soo nice to be back in Younglife! Also I was thinking about other things like school and other activities that i am involved in... but in the end God told me to stay at U of A and for my other activities I am still debating but I know that by next year I will have a fer sure plan and idea!

I am soo excited that school is almost over... then Oakbridge for the whole summer! so excited to see and reunite with some old friends and make some new ones!!!
hahah this picture is amazing i just love it and cant help but smile everytime i see it ! i love it and it brightens my day lol
and Christina since you are like the only one who ever reads my blogs... i bet you have noticed why i started over and deleted all of my posts. It is because I feel that I just needed too! lol and i love that you are the one who reads them and i thank you for it hahaha